subtle

came home. eric was waiting for me at the airport. why an extra bag? oops, shopped too much. went to bed at around 2.30 am. woke up at 8 am. i could hear christian saying "bus". why does his voice sound different? his pronounciation is much clearer. was finally able to lift my heavy lids. christian! mommy bought you a little train and a little book (besides a mountain of clothes which you are not interested in anyways). went out. he was in the balcony. looking at trucks, cars, motorcycles and the occasional, infrequent public bus. i went up to him. he didn't look at me. continued pointing out the imaginary bus, the cars, the motorcycles, the trucks. i went to give him a hug. felt skinnier. gave him a kiss. he ignored me. but he knew i was there. went to get him his train and book. he adored them. then, a flash of a meaningful look. he wanted to sit on my lap. eyes still averted. he wanted me to read to him while he played with his train. and he leaned back. so his back was against my body. and then... lots of hugs. my boy, he expresses his feelings in such subtle ways.