Alex had her first shot today - well, technically, she had her first shot at the hospital the day she was born. anyway, i've been dreading this day and "sorta" pleaded with eric to go with me. it was a half-hearted plea with eric because i know he would be in a bad mood having to skip work and having to wait at the clinic and our stress levels will, without a shadow of doubt, be elevated by the time the shot was done.
so, i sucked it up and drove Alex to the clinic. and dragging my feet, i hugged my little bundle of snuggle bunny to the doc. and true to form, i was tearing up. and as i patted my little girl to distract her from the needle, her huge eyes dilated as the needle when into her marshmallow thigh, and i swear i saw a sense of betrayal in her eyes and she cried and cried. she has never cried like this since we brought her home...and shamelessly, i cried and frantically looked for a tissue in the doc's office.
i thought i'd be stronger having gone through the same with christian. i guess some things just don't go away. i'll always be a wussy momma with a heart made of silken tofu.
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I think I am a mom with a heart of stone cos' I hardly flinch when I see the needle poke Nad's. Maybe subconsiously, I am expecting --> bad mommy - Nad to be like me - not afraid of jabs. Gosh...saying that out loud does make me sound like a horrible heartless mommy. *gulp*
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