how is it that december can be really stressful?

when i was young, december was a peaceful month. i loved hearing christmas carols on the radio and in the shops, i'd buy little ornaments after my weekly trip to the library (Queenstown Library still holds so many memories for me that I don't dare to step into the current one, which I believe has been renovated over the years, I don't want to risk blowing my precious memories of that place to pieces...), i curled up on my favorite cushy chair to catch up on the novels i'd reluctantly set aside during the school term, i'd hand paint and handmake all my christmas cards, sent them on time and received a lot from friends too. and when i was even younger, i fantasized about having snow for christmas - just once (i believe i prayed for it too).

i can't remember when december becomes a stressful month. i'm now up since 5.35 am (thanks to Christian wanting his daybreak milk) and i've been crossing out to-do items, checking my old list, and backing up picture files on my computer. i have a moleskine filled with to-do lists, and when i'm done crossing them out, i realize i have another moleskine filled with to-do lists (i live with two, if you can believe it). i feel myself morphing into a scrooge (and empathizing with him - he's probably quite a misunderstood character) when i drive into Orchard Road, when the stores ads and merchandise are always in my face, when i feel pressured to just get the christmas shopping done. i sorely want to reclaim that peace back - at least, get that magical feeling of snuggling in a comfy bed, with rain pelting on my window that's covered with paper snowflakes.