buddy

at 29 weeks. i can begin to feel little babe getting big, i can feel a limb jabbing at my ribcage all the time. the position of the placenta could explain a lot of this, but while she's just as active as christian, her movements were more "graceful", with christian, there were a lot of impatient kicks especially when i tried to sleep on my left (which supposedly helps my overworked lungs to supply more oxygen to the rest of my body). i'm feeling breathless so easily these days - and tire more easily because sometimes i have to schlep a kicking tantrum-throwing toddler.

the good thing about a second pregnancy is that you already have a motherlode of stuff and don't need to "security-buy" too much (i.e. buying stuff that you read/heard that you need but these things ended up being totally useless). i'm feeling the sense of inwardness all over again, it happened the last pregnancy too, where i yearn to spend more time alone to prepare for the birth. i had doubts about whether having another baby is a good thing for christian... until eric sent a link to this blog entry... but as the days progress, as i still continue to spend time with christian, i'm beginning to appreciate this as a journey for the 3 of us: eric, christian and me. we are all in this together, in varying degrees of awareness, to welcome little babe into the world. christian kisses my tummy and says "hello, mei mei" perhaps not literally understanding what he's doing, but the closeness we feel as mother and son is one of the best aspect of being pregnant with a second child. we'd shopped for a crib for the baby and possibly a bed for christian together as a family. so 10 months of gestation is probably a God-intended time for everyone to get involved. it feels like a partnership, like any project... christian and i braved the home improvement stores when we were renovating our home, spending endless weekends looking at tiles, lights and bathroom fixtures. he was able to get us good deals and freebie snacks. and he's always been a trooper and good buddy, just like his dad.